Little did I know then that this tool would be one of the most important pieces of technology in my life. Later that year I drove from Oklahoma to Seattle without knowing anywhere or much of anything there. If you've ever been to or lived in Seattle, you know that the roads are not easy to figure out and that it's quite easy to get turned around or lost (especially thanks to the massive construction always taking place and changing which roads are open and closed).
My GPS has an English accent, and I felt in my heart that his name was Nigel.
Nigel is practically my partner in crime. We argue on who is right, I tell him about my worries or day as I drive to the next job or rehearsal, and sometimes when traffic is heavy and heated, I vent all my frustration to him. I insist I know the right way to get somewhere, he insists I am wrong. I choose my way (he recalculates) then I realize I am wrong. I apologize, he sets me back on track. Sometimes I'm right, and I laugh in his face. It's a strange relationship.
The longer I use Nigel for help, the more I have realized how similar a GPS is to my grandfather and my close family members.
My GPS
- I tell Nigel where I want to go, and he gives his advice and support on how to get there.
- When I make a wrong turn and need help, Nigel recalculates the directions to fit my new location.
-Nigel stays calm and cool, no matter how many wrong turns I make.
-If I know how to get somewhere, I can tell Nigel that and he will become silent and wait patiently until the next time I need help
-Without Nigel, I could not make it to my destinations with the ease, relaxation, and time I do now.
My Gramps (also applies to my parents)
-I tell Gramps where I want to go in life, and he gives his advice and support on how to get there
-When I make a wrong turn and need help, my Gramps has always been there to help me recalculate the new directions I need to take
-If I know how to get somewhere and am not needing help, my Gramps has always been there with a kind ear to just listen to and enjoy my stories and experiences in life, waiting patiently for any future times I might need help
-Without my Gramps, I would not have made it to all the places, experiences, and new steps in my life with any of the ease, relaxation, love, and determination that I have had.
Am I saying that my grandfather is the same as a GPS? No.
Am I saying a piece of technology is the same value of a person? Never.
But I am saying that all of the good things I have gained from having a GPS are drawn from the good qualities I have benefited from through my grandfather. It's like he found a gift for me that embodies so many of the positive things he carries in his character.
To be completely honest with you, however, I wish my grandfather were more like a GPS right now. Because the biggest difference between a piece of technology and a person is the ability to reboot. If Nigel got sick and didn't work anymore, I could refresh his memory, install new hardware, and reboot his system as good as new.
Gramps has an extremely advanced stage of cancer right now, and he could use some new hardware. Unfortunately we haven't quite discovered yet how to give this successfully to every person. Instead, we remained trapped, forced to watch our loved one fight a painful battle we can't fight for them. If I could see this cancer enemy, I would pick up a sword and fight it myself. But the enemy is inside his body and invisible. So we wait, we comfort, we love, and we pray. We have hope and we have faith, and we must accept this heartbreaking part of life.
Gramps,
You have always been a guiding, positive light in my life. You have loved me unconditionally, with all the patience in this world. You have raised my mother to be the amazing person she is, and this has directly affected every aspect of my life. You have helped direct my life in whatever direction I wanted to go, and you have always believed in me even when I didn't believe in myself. Your positive words, your energy, your laughter has filled our houses and filled my life. You have inspired me to pursue a life of happiness and follow my dreams. Our cup runs over with your love, and we are forever changed by that.
No matter where you are or what direction I choose to take my life in next, your love and patient advice will forever guide my paths and fill my heart with peace. Every time Nigel lets me know when to take a turn or which exit to take or which road to travel on next, I will hear your voice and smile, knowing that no matter how many wrong turns I might make, I am on my way.
I love you
Forever yours,
Amber
